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“Look how old fashioned she is that she came to university wearing a salwar kameez.” “Huh! How extra modern these girls are? They are wearing such short shorts. If they would have been shorter than it could have become a bikini with a crop top.” “We never wear these clothes. We come wearing something between both. Ha Ha……” “Ridhima, you have gained weight. Are you not focusing on your heath after marriage? That is why it is said one should not get married early and become a bechari gharwali.” “Aditi, who inspired you to do your weight loss? You look extra thin, if a storm comes now, you would be flying in that automatically. By the way, who would marry such a malnourished girl? Eat something, gain weight.” “What are you doing Nivedita? Girls should not dance like this in public. Come, stand like an ideal and classy woman. What would elders think of you?”

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“Wearing traditional clothes is a problem, I become old fashioned. Wearing modern western clothes is also a problem. I become cheap. Dancing is a problem; it makes me not the ideal types. Being healthy makes me fat and chubby but being thin makes me malnourished. Being married early makes me a burdened and untimely mature chic but not being married makes me full of flaws. What am I supposed to be in this world full of question marks? My imperfections make me perfect dear people, I am who I am because of what I do.”

“Hey, why are you crying like girls? Be a man, a man does not feel any pain whatsoever.” “You cannot even flirt with a girl. You are too sanskaari types.” “You are flirting with her forcefully when she is not allowing you. What kind of a man you are? You must respect girls.” “You look like a kid without beard. Look like a man.” “You are looking too older than your age. Shave off the beard, be the smarter and wiser fellow and not some roadside goon.”

“What kind of a son you are? Always sitting and wanting something to eat, turning fatter with time. Go out, workout and be like the men of our family.” “Arey beta!! You do not eat anything. How weak have you started looking? You must get us a good daughter-in-law and a grandson. Come on, come on, you must eat an extra chapati today.”


“Crying is not a gender specific emotion, it makes me human, I will express my sadness using that emotion in me. Flirting does not make me a man and I accept to be sanskaari if not doing it gives me that tag and somehow, it is not bad at all to have a good upbringing. Shaving or not shaving at all is my choice and I would not let anyone interfere in that. Clean shave- My neat and clean personal hygiene. Not Shaved- My choice of look. Eating less or eating more is related to my health and body shape and I am okay with my physique.”

We are always judgemental towards everyone we meet. We start passing our judgements on a person in the very first meeting. We pass judgements on someone’s personality, talent, quality of their work or for that matter their working capacity or the type of work they do, their eating habits or from the place they are coming from. Doing the character analysis of someone around you is very easy but knowing that person in and out and understanding and respecting their decisions is very difficult. Not everyone is an open book people, you have to make an effort to open that book and get hold of its contents before providing an analysis.

How can we or who are we to judge a person just like that? How can we pass our judgements without thinking twice or researching thrice? Yes, you read that right. Human emotions are indeed very complex and one must know them well before announcing anything about them as that really hurts. Have you ever thought that why is a person like he or she is right now? What made them that version of themselves? What are their struggles? Every person has experiences unique to themselves and they have talents that are hidden from the world. Think before saying anything about anyone because words are irreversible and cannot be taken back. Our words can do wonders. If words can make someone feel bad then they can also motivate a person to feel better.

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